Road to Riding Right. Part 1

As a kid what irritated me the most when my dad rode me to school was that 270° clockwise turn on the ring road that could easily be taken with a 90° angle anticlockwise😬. A little kid I was, but I could imagine all the wastage of fuel and time in this activity😱. It was only when I grew up, I realised that it was necessary to maintain a steady flow of traffic and to avoid a mishap😇. But some 18+ (DL holders) are still too young to understand this. They tend to take the wrong turn and end up messing the traffic.😒

Hey my friends🙆... By now you must have understood what I am on with today.
Rightly guessed 👍....some road etiquettes.🚗🚦🚧
Oh! I truly understand that I am no one to teach you these, neither am I going to. I will just put up my opinion and request yours. So, if you are sure that you are a responsible driving person, just enjoy the post. In case you are in doubt, scrutinize yourself. Good luck👍
I am enumerating the most interesting things on road, look if you connect to them. So, let's begin.

1. The test

Ok!! Tell me how many of you ride or drive?
🙋🙋🙋🙌🙋🙌🙋🙋🙋🙌🙌🙌🙋🙋🙌🙌🙋🙋🙋🙋🙌🙋🙌🙋🙌🙋🙌🙌🙌🙌🙋🙋

So many hands😱…Great!!!

How many of you driving people have a driving licence?
🙋🙋🙍🙋🙋🙋🙋🙇🙇🙋🙋🙋🙋🙋🙍🙋🙋🙍🙋🙋🙋🙋🙋🙇🙋🙋🙋🙍🙋🙋🙋🙇

Oh! Still so many hands😇. Good...good👍.

And now a tough question- How many of these took the driving test for the licence?
🙋🙋🙍🙍🙋🙍🙍🙍🙍🙋🙋🙇🙇🙇🙇🙋🙋🙍🙋🙋🙋🙇🙇🙋🙋🙍🙍🙍🙋🙇🙋🙋

Whooo….I see many of the honest hands coming down. You don’t need to shy away from accepting it, in a nation, where the people’s representatives, MPs, set the examples. Don’t believe me??😕 See at the image below👇. By the way, if you can really handle the noodles like streets and the haphazard traffic of India, you have already passed the real driving test. 😂(Disclaimer- Oh please don't take my words for legal purposes.😯)

2. The Hell met

No…no…there is no issue with my spelling. Actually this is what can likely happen when one doesn’t wear a helmet. And people don’t wear it for numerous reasons-

• looking fabulous with open wavy hairs (The John Abrahams (old one) and Deepika Padukones)👱
• problem with suffocation😷
• the short distance journey (arrey thodi door ke liye kya helmet) 🏨........🏢
• and what not.

But what is more ridiculous is the number of reasons for wearing the helmet which are-

• to not being caught by traffic police👮
• to purchase petrol⛽
• to make grip of the phone between ear and the spongy interior of helmet ( God knows to attend whose call...PM or may be an angry spouse?....hmm.... It must be the latter because PM can wait).😂

Funny…right?
Another funny thing is that people even hang it on the handle of the bike, making it a risky affair rather than a mode of safety.

And now ...dear girls, with long hairs here I sympathise with you when your hair lock (jura) prevents you from wearing the helmet but you really need to choose- long hairs or safe head?💇

3. The number plate

This is the most interesting part, if you have ever noticed.

One day when I was getting bored at the RTO office Allahabad (Raise your hand if you ever visited RTO Office and did not get bored?😝), I engaged myself in reading the "Guidelines for number plate" board. And on my return I observed that due to ignorance or arrogance a good number of people do not follow them. For the one who has bought a new car and a fancy no. by force, source or by a handsome cost,  the number plate is the canvas of show off.  I divide these show-offs into three menacing categories-
a) Number in disguise - Ever seen Akshay Kumar’s car in  your locality…nope? Okay ever seen a car with the number …8055… It is rare that you see these numbers written so simply, it actually appears to be….BOSS… With this sign on the no. plate their level of satisfaction is even more than Akshay would have had.😜

In some other plates- 214 becomes राम , 6161 becomes दादा, 1255 becomes RSS, 8042 becomes BOYZ and many more. If you remember some share in comments.👇
b)  Biodata plate- Officially some designations are allowed to be shown on vehicles ( that too not on number plate) to facilitate their movement in sensitive areas eg, Press, Police etc. But that does not mean that a policeman's uncle's son's wife's cousin's daughter should have it on her number plate. 😲
The term Press is so commonly pressed, that one of my reporter uncle had to substitute it with 'Journalist' on his bike, although this confused the checking personnel many a times.😕
Moreover a trend has started. I have seen designations like Teacher, Businessman, Caste denoting terms, Religion specific terms and what not. I am seriously thinking to write to Gadkari Saab to allow a 12''×36'' number plate so that people may comfortably get their biodata painted on it. After all it's freedom of expression my friend!! Be ready I may ask for your backing in this letter....hihihi.😄
c)  Ardha Satya- You may even sometimes find numbers that prima facie will appear... Oh does that really belong to india?? 😮....a number like 000 only....or 9211 only....or 1947 only. Actually what you see is half truth and only when you open your eyes as big as the ostrich's egg 👀 👀 you can see the other unfortunate letters scribbled in the corner.
Guys, when you give someone your mobile number don't you take all precautions to write each and every digit clear and legible? Then why not do it with the vehicle no. as well? 😊

4. Single signal 
Some people always follow the signals, some do it occasionally.... occasionally means.....only when the light is green. And some are 'confused'. As they see the red light the good citizen inside them warns "stop"🚫, but the hurrying citizen inside whispers with a wink "accelerate, no one is watching u buddy 😉". But before accelerating the good one again cautions "Haven't you seen that traffic episode in Satyamev Jayte? How can you be so careless?😠". But as he is to turn the key off, another rider flies past him provoking him again. The cycle continues and even the bike thinks,"Bhai bike hoon, jhoola nahi...ye kya aage peechhe aage peechhe ( Dude I'm a bike not a swing that you're taking me tooo and frooo)". Finally the patience vanishes before the red light.😣

5. Kid drivers
When a kid rides a bike, his expression defeats  Hrithik of Dhoom 2😎. but when he is caught his politeness defeats Hrithik of koi mil gaya🙏. From chhota bachchha jaan k hmse na takrana re straight to dil to bachcha hai ji. 
I understand that before he is a full fledged driver he must practise in advance, but you tell me, to learn cricket would you prefer colony playground or Wankhede stadium? 

6. Horn Ok...nah...not ok
'Please sound horn' or 'Don't sound horn' the message for them is worthless. They make full use of horn switch. Sometimes, they sit over it to resemble a train arrival (Your kind attention please.. train no. AB 123456 is...........unnecessarily creating a ruckus out here) but why don't they understand that a bark can never become a roar no matter how powerful it is.
They are the most irritating when just behind you in a jam. They use their horn like stereo and you feel like saying, " Bhai ud ke nikl jaa na helicopter tere pass hai, meri to car hi hai. (Bro why don't you fly across as you have a helicopter, mine is just a car.)" 
I literally recommend to get tax over blowing horn. Either the GDP would shoot up👍 or the noise pollution would swoop down👎.

Hey friends seems its getting too long to be read enthusiatically, but much is still left. So, I am taking a temporary halt here and will continue in Part 2. In the mean time take a look at what's next and do give your suggestions so that I may incorporate them too in the next post.
7. Women drivers
8. Pillions
9. Police wale bhaiya
10. Fan Insane following
11. Overloading

Hope I am not leaving you curious and impatient because there is no question of 'katappa ne bahubali ko kyun maraa?' (why did katappa kill bahubali?)  involved here. Hehehe.
OK then see you in the next post. 
Have a comfortable and safe driving or riding. 
Bye.🙋